12 years ago today....

12 years ago today, I got married. I remember that day almost like it was yesterday. I remember all the fun I had dancing with my friends and my family. It was a big deal because I was the 1st person in the family to get married. I remember my little cousins looking adorable with my sister and the people in my wedding party are still the people I love most on this Earth. It was like a huge party of people I love and adore, but I don't think I got the actual marriage part because I don't remember much of spending time with the person I married.

My friends remember pieces that I had forgotten or just didn't realize. My ex requested "Under my Thumb" and dedicated it to me, I had asked the DJ not to play 2 certain songs which he requested and had played and while I was changing to leave for our honeymoon he requested a Metallica song that just wasn't appropriate. Thinking back now, its not something anyone who loves another person should do....I guess I was blinded by the idea of being married verses the reality that marriage isn't about the big day, in the white dress.....its what comes after that, that really matters. I didn't get married how I wanted to either. So, in my mind I have a lot to look forward to someday....

One of my cousins got married yesterday, she was my junior bridesmaid when I got married. This is how I know I'm not bitter, I can look at her happiness and the beauty of that day with a happy heart still filled with hope for a lifetime of happiness. Knowing the man she married has respect for her and also for himself.